Jealous of the Sunrise
by Kaptain Karl

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"Jealous of the Sunrise" is the first song on Kaptain Karl's amazing The Chicago Tapes album from 1999. After I transferred the original four track tapes to digital, mixed and mastered the album, and listened to it several times, a friend explained to me what this song is about while we were sitting in the car waiting for Nokomis Grill to open for lunch one afternoon. It's about enjoying being single and free as a young adult but fearing facing middle age and the golden years alone. The key line is the one with the title in it: "I'm jealous of the sunrise, want to have it all for my own/It's the twilight and the sunset I don't care to see alone."

That brings us to our theme for this two-part Livestream: Gradually changing from wanting to be a young, single person whose life and responsibilities are entirely their own into a person who is ready and eager to commit to lifelong love. Turns out my friends and I have written several songs on this theme.

If you don't have Karl's The Chicago Tapes album, you are denying yourself a great deal of melodic pleasure and lyrical wisdom. Bug him for it here: kaptainkarl.com

Lyrics:

For the moment, now, I am alone here, but there's people coming in
And I'm not really sure that I'm ready for the day here to begin
'Cause I'm jealous of the sunrise. Want to have it all for my own
And right now I am alone here, and I like to be alone
But this solitude bothers my conscience
So I laugh till I hear my ribs crack
And I drink till I'm nearly unconscious
I've got to find some way to bring it all back

And I don't know who I am here, how I look inside of your eyes
If you knew me as I knew me, I would hope you'd at least be surprised
Maybe startled, maybe frightened, delighted, excited, or scared
Maybe baffled or enlightened,
there's so much that I want to see there
So I drink till I'm nearly unconscious
And I laugh till I hear my ribs crack
But this solitude bothers my conscience
I've got to find some way to bring it all back

There are people who live in the city,
there are people who live off the land
There are some who are handsome and witty,
and the rest of us do what we can
Some think liquor will make 'em look pretty,
though it's really just harder to stand
To every last one it's a pity,
that there's no one who quite understands
And I'm not really sure what I'm doing
'Cept for trying to hard to fit in
And I'm either to smart or too stupid
Or maybe my skin's just been wearing too thin

And I'm jealous of the sunrise, want to have it all for my own
It's the twilight and the sunset, I don't care to see alone...

Next song: No One Could

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