Child's Hallucination
by Memphis Evans

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"Child's Hallucination" came from the same solo tape as Winter Ghost. I called it Mellby 324: Fake Rock Star, named for my single dorm room and my avocation. Obviously it was a difficult time in some ways, although looking back I can see that I was extremely fortunate to have time and space and technology to create my music and to be making lifelong, important friends. But at the time I wasn't focusing on the positives, at least not while writing lyrics.

"Child's Hallucination" doesn't require a lot of explanation. It's all just real things that happened to me right there in very plain language. In that sense it is very unusual among my songs.

Three times I have really enjoyed peoples' reactions to this being played live. Around the time I wrote it, a guy came up to me after a Larson Coffeehouse show and said he had also had such incidents when he was a kid and he really related to it. We started playing music together and had some really good times, including performing together on a composition class recital.

A few years later I played it at the Ginkgo Coffeeshop in St. Paul during a GUH show. (Had Karl broken a string or what? We didn't usually play this one.) I looked down at the crowd briefly and a man and a woman were sitting together, looking right at me and crying.

That was really quite thrilling, because that's sort of the point of this song and the main, driving purpose of my music in general. I want to help people to feel their emotions, whether it's joy, sadness, both, or whatever I'm conveying or they're getting. Then I want them to see and acknowledge those emotions in others, building empathy and compassion.

Lyrics:

I would have this dream
When I was a child
The floor would fall away
To a canyon loud and wild

And all the feeling in my body
Would run into my eyes
I'd scream out for my momma to come
Felt like I would fall and die

And a child's hallucination
Is just as real as it seems
I'm still calling out for someone
To hold me while I dream
Hold me while I dream

I'd cling to my blanket
while my legs were kicking around
I just wanted my little feet to find me a place
I could call solid ground

And I'd hang on to my pillow
But the world spun around too fast
I felt like I was falling forever
Until my mom was there at last

instrumental

Yeah, I would have this dream
When I was a child
The floor would fall away
To a canyon scary and wild

And a child's hallucination
Is still just as real as it seems
I'm still crying out for someone
To hold me while I dream
Hold me while I dream

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