Protocol for a Sneeze

In light of injuries, a primer

When you know you are going to sneeze
it is no little thing, you must prepare

Stand still, feet shoulder width apart
If you've ever prepared to field a baseball you know this
Elbows slightly bent, arms to the sides, loose
If you've ever played defense in basketball you know this
Fingers are uncurled, extended, warning
You're clearing a path, saying
"I need this space right here!"
No one should be directly in front of you
That's just mutual courtesy

(If you are doing it right and you end up not sneezing,
people should be like, "What? What?"
And ONLY WHEN YOU ARE SURE, you can be like
"Thought I was gonna sneeze.")

This is not going to be that polite little HINK! HINK!
That does not serve the purpose
and you could wrench something
and hurt yourself

Find a word, a nonsense word
WAH-HO!
or a kid's name you went to school with
M'-HAR
or a real word
HIKER!
Whatever fits, whatever works for YOU

Germs are going to be leaving your body at up to forty miles an hour
This is a good thing for you!
Also, you have cleared the space where the germs will be
Your stance said,
"Lookout everybody. Don't stand right in front of me right now!"
So if you've done it right, it's a neutral thing for those around you.

Make sure you finish all the sneezes you need,
then, to resume time, a head nod and a YO or a YUP.
People will know you're ready to resume walking
or talking
or whatever seemed so important

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